Understanding One

One drink
can quickly drag a man
down those 12 steps
it took so long
to crawl up

But one despicable love
can infect a man
with a furious sadness
so powerful
so consuming
he becomes alive
with a profound
incurable nothing

One job
can torture
and demolish a man
rendering him primal
like the shit eating grin
of a supervised war

And one reason
once discovered
is all we need
to explain
the mess we’ve made
of our lives

Because one chance is all
we are afforded
trusting nothing
was wasted
making god a clown

Every Reason #2

Issue #2 of my 'zine is out now!

Get yours here:http://www.etsy.com/listing/57314017/every-reason-zine-number-2

Watch the making of it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ftCtaYQVmY

Part 2 is here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQZNj9oLoAs&feature=related

Not Without You

Here’s to all the single moms
that ride the bus everyday,
to their minimum wage jobs
with sad lives not worth living
who sacrifice themselves for
the sake of their children.

And here’s to the kids who can’t fit in,
who always get their ass beat
trying to find a way out
or just a place to belong.

Here’s to the murderous cat
playing with a ball of string.

And here’s to the man who lives on the street
with nothing in the world
but his dignity.

Here’s to all of those poets,
artists, punkers, thinkers and lovers
who give it all away for free.

And here’s to everyone
who has ever been told
they will never survive this way
and lived to extend a
middle finger.

Here’s to everyone
so consumed by life,
they want
to die.

I would not want
to live in this world
without you.

We Get What We Deserve

blind believers
salt my wounds with
forced tears of mercy

and they tell me
there’s a man above and
a beast below and
I am stuck somewhere
in between

these believers with their
fear drenched faith
warn me of an end
yet unseen

and I must choose
a place for my
soul bruised black
because tomorrow is
too late

and I tell them I’ve
gambled god’s grace
and I drank whiskey
with the devil
in my living room

and I have chosen
to believe in
Myself

and just like the
bird in the sky
and the worm in
the ground
we all have our
place

and none of us
deserve anything
better
than death

Master Bathroom

I have brushed my teeth bloody
and I spit infection from my sinuses
into the sink, because
sleep didn’t heal me and
no remedy is offered for things
so incurable and stubborn and

the bathroom mirror reflects
an image of a young man worn
senseless by years of struggle
and mistake and I am reminded
of why there is always a noose
and bucket, a bridge high enough
to soar from, a gun loaded in
the drawer with one final bullet
just in case

my swollen eyes forced to close
from the weight of a heavy
life viewed in one continuous loop
so many times, so contagious, I am sick
with the sight of it and I beg god
for a sleep that lasts forever
because I am tired and
I am empty and

I am beginning to understand
why people murder their lovers
and burn their houses
to the ground and why the cockroach
will never die

all for one

I spend approximately
one hour each day
driving my car
to and from
my job

and for one hour
each day
I am truly alone

with all those remaining
hours that frame a day
laid to waste for the desire
of others

and the others are always
fighting for and devouring
the scraps of the day
I am unable to claim
as my own

all those hours not mine
simple sand poured through glass
given away for free
to no one and everyone
but me

I suffocate from this and
I feel claustrophobic and
I need that precious hour
to breath, to think, to get back
to that thing that makes
me whole and makes
us all feel human

but if time could be
bought and sold
bottled and stolen
I would still go on
wanting

because that goddamn drive
will never be long
enough

This Guy

I knew this guy once
who would shoot bottle rockets
out of his car window
and he would drive
on the wrong side of
the road

he would work all day
and drink all night
screaming at his reflection
in the bathroom mirror

he gave his heart
to women who didn’t have one
and received no love,
no mercy, no trophy,
no remorse

he would dive head first
into mosh pits
only to return
bloody, torn, puking
and smiling

he drove his Volkswagen van
across the country
just so he could
pedal his bicycle
back home

he would beat up his cousin
for buying crack
so he could tell him
he loved him

he would spend all of his money
buying me beer
so he could tell me
about his life
and his sorrow
and he would not allow
me to hate him

he was all I have
never been
capable of being

and I never once
thought him to be
crazy.