The Longest Poem Ever Written About A Sinus Infection

my whole body hurt
in a way I
didn’t think was
possible

it must have been
100 degrees that day
as I gasped for air
in a hot car
moving slowly to what
I hoped would be
some sort of end

I felt like I might
die
and there were moments
when I really wanted
to
as traffic locked me
into position

I couldn’t believe
how much I
hated
every car and
every person
ever made

and all I needed
was a place to breath
to sleep
to live a day when
the sun could be
a little kinder

and I continued moving
slowly
toward what
I hoped would be
some sort of
end

and in what seemed
like a million
hours
I was under
cool sheets
restlessly sleeping away
pain and delirium
and another day
I never wished
to relive

but sleep was
only a dirty trick

and I awoke to the sound
of a child that
was not my own

he was playing outside
and screaming a
stupid child scream
and my head exploded
I couldn’t believe
how much I
hated
every cell that
had divided to
make him

I got out of bed
and slowly walked
to the kitchen
for a glass
of water

my body still throbbed
it hurt to breath
to walk
to think
but I had
to do all
three

I drank the water
but remained
thirsty

and all I really wanted
was a sound
proof room
or something else
as equally
intangible

I again felt
as though
I might stop
living

and then
there were those
moments
where I thought
I had probably already
died

and my head
exploded
and I could not
believe
how much I hated
every second that
passed

but I continued moving
slowly
toward what
I hoped would be
some sort of
end

SLAVES

we work such shitty jobs
so we can afford to get sick
and buy advertised drugs

some of us have never been broke
or broken a bone or been to
a punk rock show or out
of the town we were born in

we stay in loveless marriages
because we are too afraid
to leave or part with
our grand materialism

some of us have never had an orgasm
or had our hearts broken because

we hide ourselves from others
for fear of misunderstanding,
rejection or violence and

some of us lack empathy because
we still don’t know
who we are

we follow religious and political doctrines
because we are afraid to think for
or believe in ourselves and

some of us live in very tiny
obscenely safe worlds
fat with what we think will make us whole
where we sit very comfortably
in over sized chairs and

we call out, so that others might hear
and declare quite loudly
that we have been made
free.

Understanding One

One drink
can quickly drag a man
down those 12 steps
it took so long
to crawl up

But one despicable love
can infect a man
with a furious sadness
so powerful
so consuming
he becomes alive
with a profound
incurable nothing

One job
can torture
and demolish a man
rendering him primal
like the shit eating grin
of a supervised war

And one reason
once discovered
is all we need
to explain
the mess we’ve made
of our lives

Because one chance is all
we are afforded
trusting nothing
was wasted
making god a clown

Every Reason #2

Issue #2 of my 'zine is out now!

Get yours here:http://www.etsy.com/listing/57314017/every-reason-zine-number-2

Watch the making of it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ftCtaYQVmY

Part 2 is here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQZNj9oLoAs&feature=related

Not Without You

Here’s to all the single moms
that ride the bus everyday,
to their minimum wage jobs
with sad lives not worth living
who sacrifice themselves for
the sake of their children.

And here’s to the kids who can’t fit in,
who always get their ass beat
trying to find a way out
or just a place to belong.

Here’s to the murderous cat
playing with a ball of string.

And here’s to the man who lives on the street
with nothing in the world
but his dignity.

Here’s to all of those poets,
artists, punkers, thinkers and lovers
who give it all away for free.

And here’s to everyone
who has ever been told
they will never survive this way
and lived to extend a
middle finger.

Here’s to everyone
so consumed by life,
they want
to die.

I would not want
to live in this world
without you.

We Get What We Deserve

blind believers
salt my wounds with
forced tears of mercy

and they tell me
there’s a man above and
a beast below and
I am stuck somewhere
in between

these believers with their
fear drenched faith
warn me of an end
yet unseen

and I must choose
a place for my
soul bruised black
because tomorrow is
too late

and I tell them I’ve
gambled god’s grace
and I drank whiskey
with the devil
in my living room

and I have chosen
to believe in
Myself

and just like the
bird in the sky
and the worm in
the ground
we all have our
place

and none of us
deserve anything
better
than death

Master Bathroom

I have brushed my teeth bloody
and I spit infection from my sinuses
into the sink, because
sleep didn’t heal me and
no remedy is offered for things
so incurable and stubborn and

the bathroom mirror reflects
an image of a young man worn
senseless by years of struggle
and mistake and I am reminded
of why there is always a noose
and bucket, a bridge high enough
to soar from, a gun loaded in
the drawer with one final bullet
just in case

my swollen eyes forced to close
from the weight of a heavy
life viewed in one continuous loop
so many times, so contagious, I am sick
with the sight of it and I beg god
for a sleep that lasts forever
because I am tired and
I am empty and

I am beginning to understand
why people murder their lovers
and burn their houses
to the ground and why the cockroach
will never die